Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
They took my balls.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
