We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
