I want to make a zoo with you.
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
