youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
