i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
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