Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Randomize
