I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
Just puked most of my soul out..
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