He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Randomize
