Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
Randomize
