We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
this hospital has no fireball
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
