what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
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