I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
i would one night stand the shit outta him
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Randomize
