Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
do nipples grow back?
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