Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
What a dumb baby whore.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
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