: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
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