Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize
