You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize
