We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
Randomize
