You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
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