laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels