Will you blow on my dice?
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
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