yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Randomize
