how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Randomize
