She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
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