I just saw a hot homeless man
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
Randomize
