That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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