i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
