Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
Randomize
