I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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