i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
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