the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
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