dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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