its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
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Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
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The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
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