I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
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