i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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