I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
