tell your sister to shave her snatch
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
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