Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize
