Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
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Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
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I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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