If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Randomize
