Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
this hospital has no fireball
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
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