He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
