I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Randomize