There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Randomize
