I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
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