I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
Randomize
