He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize
