I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
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