You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Randomize
