God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
I like to think it a success when the cops are called
I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
