I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Randomize
