Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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