Yo dont text me then not text me
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
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