last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Randomize
