In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
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