guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
