I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize
