Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
