D3 body, D1 cock
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
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