No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
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