You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize