Kareoke will never be a sober sport
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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